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Monday, January 24, 2011

'How are you?' - 'I'm fine'

If you start to become more aware of the answer to the question 'how are you?' you will soon realise that the answer, almost always, is 'I'm fine'. This is then usually followed by a sigh and the person goes into all the reasons why their life sucks (for lack of a better word) which proves that they don't even think before answering the question.

Yes, it may not be the nicest way to start a conversation -  'how are you?' 'actually, I'm not doing so well, I'm really depressed' but at least you're being honest. Or the other option is to say 'I'm fine' but be conscious to the fact that you are not fine and maybe just don't want to talk about it. I was at a birthday party the other day and it became very apparent that almost every person I spoke to started the conversation with a complaint about their life.

'Oh, I have so much work to do. I'm so busy, its crazy. My child is crazy, my life is crazy. Oh, woe is me.' All I then want to say is 'at least you have a job, at least you have a child, at least you are alive!' But I don't say that, I commiserate with them, adding fuel to their fire of compliance and fall straight into that same way of thinking. For some reason we all think we have to be sad and stressed in order to have a conversation with someone. There was one woman, however, who said she was very busy but also very grateful for the work. This is the right attitude because it doesn't make you the victim of your own life.

I will no longer say 'I'm fine' when I'm not and when I am I will say 'I am great' or 'I am fantastic'. I actually don't want my life to be just fine or for me to be just fine. I want awesomeness and when I feel it I will share it.

"It is important to take from what we see every day the secrets that routine otherwise prevents us from perceiving." Paulo Coelho

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